That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
