you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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