piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
