I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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