Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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