I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize