are you still at the devil's house?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
