There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
