i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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