is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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