Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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