we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
