I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
