Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
