the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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