blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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