Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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