ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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