Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
