We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
