i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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