Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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