they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
