her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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