I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize