i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
