I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
