Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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