Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
