yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
