If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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