Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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