I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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