at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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