Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
