That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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