why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
