There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize