dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
