I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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