It's like God shit irony all over that family
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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