You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Sober January is a disaster.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
