I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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