no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
