Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
