just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
