I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize