This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
