she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize