Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
