so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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