I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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