Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
