Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
