I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
