just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
