Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
