So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
